Growing up, my mother would “make pork” by throwing it in a crock pot and letting it turn to cardboard. Needless to say, this left a bad taste in my mouth towards enjoying the sus domesticus in any way other than bacon.
However, everything changed when my brother Nate made me a pork chop. My eyes were opened to the fact that eating pork doesn’t have to suck, it can actually be pretty good. This caused me to start my quest to develop the best recipe for cooking pork chops.
I failed. However, what I developed is actually pretty delicious, so you’ll have to settle for that.
What You Need
- A high-walled pan for frying (cast iron or stainless steel. None of that non-stick garbage.)
- Instant Read Thermometer
- 1/4 cup canola or peanut oil
- 1 cup of all-purpose flour
- 1 tablespoon of Garlic Powder
- 1 teaspoon of Cayenne Pepper
- 1/2 stick of Unsalted Butter
- 2-3 Bone-in Pork Chops (They don’t have to be bone-in, but I’m a big fan of chewing the last bits of meat off the bone, so I’ll recommend it that way. This recipe will work just fine with thinner cuts or boneless, just check temps and adjust as needed.)
- Ground Black Pepper
- Salt
- Parsley (optional)
HOW TO DO IT
- Pour the oil into your pan and heat it on medium-high.
- While the oil is heating, mix your flour, garlic powder, and cayenne pepper in a deep plate or pan. You’ll be breading your pork chops in this, so take caution not to make a mess.
- BRING OUT THE PIGS
- Technically, for this to be anything like schnitzel, it’d have to be thinly-sliced and boneless. These are thick and notably bony, so it’s technically off the schnitzel-roster. But I make the rules on my corner of the internet, so just try and stop me.
- Salt & pepper both sides of your chops. Then, drop them into your flour mixture and press down. Flip and repeat. Do this two or three times to ensure proper flour stickage. Make sure there aren’t any spots missing the flour.
- Once your oil is sufficiently heated, add your butter. The butter shouldn’t burn, but should become one with the oil pretty quickly. Note that it will cool down your oil a bit.
- Once your butter and oil have emulsified, drop in your pork chops.
- Don’t freak out if your pork starts to leak red liquid. This is normal, and IT’S NOT BLOOD GEEZ MOM STOP FREAKING OUT.
- Check out this article to learn about myglobin.
- Cook for 5 minutes, then flip for another three to five minutes, depending on your cook surface/temp. You should be getting a nice crispy layer on the outside, like so.
- MAKE SURE you use an instant read thermometer to ensure they’ve been cooked to a safe temperature. Nobody is allowed to get Trichinosis on my watch. You’re looking for 145° Fahrenheit. (That’s 63°C)
- After flipping, I usually give them a temperature check. They shouldn’t be done after your first flip, but always keep an eye on the temperature so you don’t overcook them. It’s better to sacrifice a bit of crispiness on the outside then to get an overcooked interior.
- Once both sides are cooked, send them back in for a minute on each side if you want them extra crispy on the outside.
- Let rest for five to ten minutes and top with a bit of parsley, if you fancy. Serve with a nice salad, crispy vegetable, or something else green and fibrous.
Quick Chops
These are basically discount schnitzel, but thicker. And with a bone. They’re not schnitzel but calling them (thickzel) is really funny and I’m going to do it. My German ancestors are probably rolling over in their graves, but that’s not my problem. I suppose you could also bread them with panko breadcrumbs to get a more schnitzel-like breading, but I like using flour since it coats evenly and doesn’t burn as easily.
Let me know what you think of these and if you think I have fully despoiled my German heritage.
Alexander Garver